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| Wow! Tooo long! But a little too busy! Sorry, guys! | | |
| So.....I haven't written here in a lonnngg time! So hi! Umm.....so I got back from India yesterday and had and have tennis practice yesterday, today and tomorrow from 4-6. And then MAYBE next week?
So, otherwise I have free.....but most people who read this are far away and all that....so, have fun! Bye! | | |
| Stole some instrumental jokes from jenna!
Q. How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
A. When the engines stop, the whining continues
Q. How do concert band flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. They ask their boyfriend to do it for them.
Q. What's the definition of a minor second?
A. Two flutists playing in unison.
Q. How many flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before she realizes they can't be pushed in.
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why do drummers have 1/2 ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves during the parade.
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.
We know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
How do trumpet players park in the handicap spots?
They put drumsticks on the dash.
Two drummers walk into a bar, which is actually kind of funny, because you would think that the second guy would have seen the first one do it.
Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?
No.
Neither did I.
A man died and soon after, went to Heaven. He discovered Heaven was an endless hallway with doors to the left and right. On the door was your I.Q. number. He went to door 160, and found the people there talking about quantum physics. He slammed the door and went to door 120. He found the people there trying to figure out as many decimal places of pi that they could. He shut the door and went to 80. He found the people in there talking about lastnight's Packer game. He thought to himself, "I'll come back to this one later," and shut the door. He walked all the way down to 16, and found the people in there talking about Sunday's episode of "King of the Hill." He shut the door, and went to door 7. He foung the people in there drooling on each other. Lastly, he went to door 3. He opened the door and heard one of the people say, "My sticks were Zildjian, what were yours?"
Q: What do you call a drummer who's lost his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Give him a piece of sheet music.
Q: What would you call the smartest drummer in the world?
A: Mildly retarded.
how can you get a drummer off your porch?
pay for the pizza!
A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when the drumming stops." At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and is starting to get on his nerves. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been reminded of something very unpleasant. "Very bad when the drumming stops," he says, and hurries off. After a couple of days with little sleep, our traveller is finally fed up, grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts "What happens when the drumming stops?!!"
A. "Bass solo."
there is a bar with a bunch of drummers in it and they are all yelling "51 days, 51 days!" and more and more keep coming in, they are all ordering drinks and yelling "51 days! 51 days!" the bartender has a puzzled look on his face as more and more come into the bar and order more and more drinks and chant and chant. finally, the bartender asks one of the drummers why they are all celebrating and chanting"51 days! 51 days!" the drummer answers with, "well, we all just finished a puzzle in 51 days and the box said 2 to 4 years!"
"Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer."
His mother scoffs and replies... "Well, you can't do both."
What's the difference between a trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?
I don't know either.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.
How do you get a trumpet player to play fff?
Write mp on the part.
Three famous trumpet players are up in an airplane. One of them says, "I'll throw out a 100 dollar bill and make someone very happy." The one next to him says, "I'll throw out two 50 dollar bills, and make two people very happy." The other one said, "I'll throw five 20's out the door, and make five people happy." The pilot, who was their conductor, said, "Why don't all three jump, and make the whole band very happy?"
What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
About three decibels.
What's the differance between a trumpet player and God?
God knows he's not a trumpet player.
How can you tell a trumpet player's kids at a playground?
They don't know how to swing.
4 trumpet players are in a mini van. The mini van goes off a cliff. What's the tragedy in this?
You can fit 8 trumpet players in a mini van.
How do you get a clarinetist out of a tree?
Cut the noose.
A man walked out to a meat store looking for some brains for dinner. He looked at the selections:
Flute Brains, $1/lb
Tuba Brains, $10/lb
Percussion Brains, $5/lb
Then he saw a sign that read:
Clarinet Brains, $100/lb
He asked the butcher why clarinet brains were so expensive. The butcher replied, "Do you know hwow many clarinets you have to kill to get a pound of brains?"
How do you know when a clarinet player is at your house?
They don't know where to enter and what key to use.
How do you stop an oboe from being stolen?
Put it in a clarinet case.
How do you make a saxophone sound like a clarinet?
Miss a lot of notes...
Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.
Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"
Friend: "I hope so."
Q: How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus?
A: On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.
Subito piano: Indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.
Musica ficta: When you lose your place and have to bluff until you find it again.
Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.
Soprano Sofege: do, re, mi, me, Me, Not You, ME!!
Q: What's the difference between a bull and a band?
A: The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.
Q: How are trumpet players like pirates?
A: They're both murder on the high Cs.
two women in a kitchen drinking coffee.
One sez "What instrument does your nephew play?"
Aunt says "Euphonium"
One replies "OK, I'll give him a call. I thought you knew."
What should you do if you run over a euphonium?
Back up.
What do you get when you toss a tuba down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get when you toss a tuba at an officer in the army?
A flat major.
What's the best way for you to contact a baritone player?
Euphonium. | | |
| | Gauri Bhatia's Aliases | 
Your movie star name: Chex Mix Amrit
Your fashion designer name is Gauri Paris
Your socialite name is Burrito New York
Your fly girl / guy name is G Bha
Your detective name is Elephant Portledge
Your barfly name is Chex Mix
Your soap opera name is Stagecoach
Your rock star name is Sour Patch Kids Car
Your Star Wars name is Gaufis Bhasam
Your punk rock band name is The Silly Shoe
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You're a 90's kid if:
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "Psych!"
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tupac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You remember that abercrombie and fitch wasnt that craved (?)
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
you danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)
You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the red* Ranger were meant to be together.
To the last sentence you said.....hey...Tommy was the green* ranger!!!!
*later to be white
*then red
*then more things and he is currently the black ranger
When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being tommy.
You remember when super nintendo's became popular.
You remember watching Home Alone 1 and 2........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
"I've fallen and I can't get up"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
You played marbles at recess
When wearing your pants over your belly button was cool!
NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS
When you ate otterpops even when it was 40 degrees outside
Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)
You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember a time before the WB.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said
You thought Brain woud finally take over the world
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
You remember when razor scooters were cool.
when we were younger:
Before the MySpace frenzy.
Before the Internet & text messaging.
Before Sidekicks & iPods.
Before MIKE JONES
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.
WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
bill-nye the science guy.
MR RODGERS!!!!
gulah gulah island
gumby
lamb chop
original barney
When Toys R Us overuled the mall.
Watching afro-king BOB ROSS paint trees on T.V.
DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT???
smud and yak back. skip it and bop it.
Who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda! Is it true? I do, I do, I doooo-hooo! :D
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!
Your a 90's kid when you read this and smiled and laughed at least 5 of these.
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